Julius Caesar(Paw patrol version)
This is a play based on Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. There are other OC's that aren't mine, so I promise to ask the users that own them before adding them to the cast. Cast Marshall : Casca Zuma : Mark Antony Rubble : Cinna Rocky : Cassius Chase : Brutus Skye : Portia Everest : Calphurnia Markeus : Caesar Perathius : Soothsayer : Flavius : Marullus : Carpenter : Cobbler : Cinna The Poet : Lucius : Artemidorus : Cicero : Varro : Volumnius : Publius : Claudius : Trebonius Play (Adventure Bay theater is full of people. Among them, Mayor Humdinger, Mayor Goodway, Ryder, and some of his friends. They are all here to see the play. Trumpets play as I enter the stage. The audience cheers.) Me : Thank you everyone and WOW! (audience continues cheering) I have no pressure. (audience laughs slightly) I just wanted to thank you for coming here tonight. Why don't we start with what you came here to see. (audience cheers) For those of you who've never read Shakespeare, there are 5 acts in this play. Each act has between 3 and 5 scenes. For each scene, they have to set it up behind the curtain. While they do that, I'll entertain you with jokes until they sound a buzzer, which means the scene is ready. The first one's already set up, so Ladies and Gentlemen, let's give applause for Scene 1 of Act 1 of William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. (audience cheers and applauds. The curtain lifts and the first pups on to the stage.) Villager pups : Caesar! Hail Caesar! Caesar! Hail Caesar! Caesar! (Two tribunes intercept them) Flavius : Hence! (Villager pups stop) Home, you idle creatures get you home: Is this a holiday? (the Villager pups giggle) What! (giggling stops) Know you not, being mechanical, you ought not walk upon a laboring day without the sign of your profession? (turns to one of the villager pups) Speak, what trade art thou? Carpenter : Why, sir, a carpenter. Marullus : Where is thy leather apron and thy rule? What dost thou with thy best apparel on? (Turns to a different pup) You, sir, what trade are you? Cobbler : Truly, sir, in respect of a fine workman, I am but, as you would say, a cobbler. Marullus But what trade art thou? Answer me directly. Cobbler : A trade , sir, that, I hope, I may use with a safe conscience, which is, indeed, sir, a mender of bad souls.( Villager pups laugh then stop.) Marullus : What trade, thou knave? Thou naughty knave, what TRADE?!?!?! Cobbler : (looking scared) Nay, I beseech you, sir, be not out with me. (smiles) Yet, if you be out, sir, I can mend you. (Villager pups laugh) Marullus : (looking annoyed) What meanest thou by that?! Mend me, thou saucy fellow! Cobbler : Why, sir, cobble you! Flavius : Thou art a cobbler, art thou? Cobbler : Truly, sir, all that I live by is with the awl. I meddle with no tradesman's matters, nor women's matters.(sniggers) but with awl. (Villager pups and audience laugh) I am, indeed, sir, a surgeon to old shoes, When they are in great danger, I recover them. As proper men as ever trod upon neat's leather have gone upon my handiwork. Flavius : But wherefore art not in thy shop today? Why dost thou lead these men about the streets? Cobbler : Truly, sir, to wear out their shoes to get myself into more work. (Villager pups laugh softly) But, indeed, sir, we make holiday to see Caesar and to rejoice in his triumph! Villager pups: Caesar! Caesar! Caesar! Caesar Caesar! Marrullus : (interrupts) Wherefore rejoice? (cheering stops) What conquest brings he home? What tributaries follow him to Rome to in captive bonds his chariot wields? You blocks. You stones! You worse than senseless things! O you hard hearts, you cruel men of Rome, knew you not Pompey? Many a time and oft have you climb'd up to walls and battlements to towers and windows, yea, to chimney-tops, your infants in your arms, and there have sat the livelong day with patient expectation to see the great Pompey pass the streets of Rome. And when you saw his chariot but appear, have you not made an universal shout that Tiber trembled underneath her banks to hear the replication of your sounds made in her concave shores? And do you now put on your best attire? And do you now cull out a holiday? And do you now strew flowers in his way that comes in triumph over Pompey's blood? (Villager pups nod) BE GONE!!! (pushes a Villager pup) Run to your houses. (Pushes another Villager pup) Fall upon your knees. (pushes another Villager pup) Pray to the gods to intermit the plague that needs must light on this ingratitude. (Villager pups start backing away) Flavius : Go, go good countrymen, and, for this fault, assemble all the poor men of your sort, draw them to Tiber banks, and weep your tears into the channel, till the lowest stream do kiss the most exalted shores of all. (Villager pups walk away angry) See whether their basest metal be not moved they vanish tongue-tied in their guiltiness. (points) Go you down that way towards the capitol. (points) This way will I. Disrobe the images if you do find them deck'd with cerimonies. Marullus : (confused) May we do so? You know it is the feast of Lupercal. Flavius : It is no matter. Lat no images be hung with Caesar's trophies. I'll about and drive away the vulgar from the streets. So do you too where you perceive them thick. (Marullus tilts his head. Flavius sighs and rolls his eyes.) These growing feathers pluck'd from Caesar's wing will make him fly an ordinary pitch. Who else would soar above the view of men and keep us all in servile fearfulness.(both nod and walk of the stage in opposite directions. The audience claps and cheers, the curtain closed and I walk back on stage.) Me : That wasn't so long now was it? (audience murmers) Well there's more where that came from. (audience cheers) While their setting up the next scene, I've been asked to joke about the PAW Patrol. (audience murmers) When you're in Adventure Bay, you have to be careful, because Chase doesn't mess around. He will stop you for anything, I'm not kidding. He did that to me while I was on my way here. He was like(mimics Chase's bark then machine noises then Chase himself)What are you doing sir? (high-pitched voice) I'm walking. (audience laughs) I know, cauz he does that. That makes me think he's a little (spins finger around ear) Wohoo. (audience laughs) Now if you're demoman drunk and you're thinkin' bout driving, don't do it. It's not a good idea cuz, come on, you know when you drunk. You're runnin' laps 'round the parking lot and you can't find the exit. Hello? is anybody home in there? (audience laughs) When you're demoman drunk and you're drivin' down the highway, a truck comes by, ya know (mimics truck horn) Shut up, stupid. (audience laughs) Like I said you know when you drink, like, when Rubble drinks, he drinks water, ya know, cuz, anything else makes him talk to his body.(audience laughs slightly) Yeah. He gets like(mimics stomach growling) What's teh matta? (audience laughs. I mimic stomach growling) Hey, ya said ya could hang.(I mimic stomach growling) DON'T TALK TO Me then.(mimics flatulence. audience laughs. I turn around.) Ya talkin' trash too? (audience laughs) But he's still good at diggin'. (audience cheers and claps) When you're demoman drunk, you turn into one of three people: the "I love you" guy, the "I hate you" guy, or the "'mere" guy. (audience goes huh) Ya know the guy that's like sh HEEEEEEEEEEEY, 'mere. (audience laughs) Category:Pg-13